Reminiscences of an Unwanted Queen
by Almond of the Stars
Summary: What really happens in Daisy's head will always be a mystery, but I hope this story does her justice. Daisy has had to deal with being unwanted all her life, and she finally makes a drastic decision because of it. A short oneshot. Please respect that.


**AN: Wow, it's been so long that I've basically forgotten how to do this. I'm so sorry. I have abandoned all of you. I do this, get into website crazes, where I love it and visit every day for a couple months, than leave with no explanation or forewarning. I've had this story written down for a while now, and I'm finally putting it up. Sorry it's so short, but really there isn't much to add, this is the sentimental side of things, not the action-full side.**

**Right, disclaimers! OK, I don't own any of this, it's all property of the Erin Hunters!**

Reminiscences of an Unwanted Queen

I know I was unwanted. I knew that from the start. It started in the barn, with Smokey and Floss. Of, course, he gave us both kits, but it was obvious he liked Floss better. Not that he didn't like me and care for the unborn kits, but it was clear Floss was a hundred times better in his eyes. She was the mate he really wanted. And that is something that is really hard to live with. But not as hard to live with as knowing that no one in my adopted clan wanted me either. When the clans came along, I had decided that I had had enough of Smokey and Floss making goo-goo eyes at each other behind back, or even if front of me. I deserved someone who would love me like that too.

I really liked Cloudtail. He was always so nice to me, but he was loyal to his mate Brightheart, even if he was totally blind at the time. I didn't know he had a mate when I first started liking him. But even once I learned, I didn't think it was that big of a deal at first. Smokey had done it. But I remembered the pain it caused me, and I didn't want that happening again, to me or Brightheart. She was so sweet, even if I was rude to her, and then tried to steal her mate. And Cloudtail was just so oblivious. I really do love the pair, but now it's unconditional. Even though I did actually like Cloudtail in the beginning, not anymore. But none of the other toms held anything for me, and I was so heart-broken at the time that I decided it would just be best to go back to the barn. I didn't know may clan would care enough to come find me and my kits.

So I lived on that high for a long time, even if Cloudtail muddled things up a bit. But that didn't matter anymore, they all cared about me. Someone cared. But my esteem-boost came crashing down once I had Spiderleg's kits. We had just had a fling. Two single cats in the heat, well it was inevitable. I just hoped there was some feeling behind it. I even prayed to their Starclan. But it did no good. Spiderleg was always awkward around Toadkit and Rosekit. He wasn't able to be a father to those kits. So my hopes of being loved and having a mate once again crashed down around me.

I moped for a while before Ferncloud noticed my mood and correctly guessed its origin. Then she told me something. She said that if it weren't for Dustpelt she never would have found where she could truly help her clan, in being a queen-mentor. I realized Ferncloud was right, and I could help that way too. A truly naïve thought, that also kept me happy for a long time. But when Poppyfrost had her litter, I noticed something. More often than not, she would go to Ferncloud for advice, not me. Then I realized something else. Two is better than one of course, but sometimes one is all you need. And no queen needed me. After all, Ferncloud was older and more experienced than me. And so I had to stop, and think for a long time. Wasn't there anything else I could do for my clan? All I knew how to do was bare kits. Then it hit me. That's all I knew how to do, but I could learn something else!

So soon after that, I began asking Ferncloud for lessons. I said it was just for defending the nursery, but I had a grander scheme. It took a while, but I was learning, because this time I wanted to. I wasn't just a simple naïve queen anymore. I would be a warrior.

After moons of practice, Ferncloud deemed me an expert on all she could teach me, I knew exactly what I was doing for once in my life. I strode proudly across the clearing, in a manner most unlike me. I saw a few cats glance curiously at me out of the corner of my eye, but I kept walking until I reached Firestar's den and called inside. I heard a "come in," and stepped through the ivy.

"Daisy?" he mewed, surprised. I dipped my head in respect, but inwardly flinched. "Is there something wrong in the nursery?"

"No Firestar, my visit has nothing to do with the nursery. I came because I want to be a warrior." His jaw dropped open in surprise and I continued before he could speak. "Ferncloud has taught me everything. I wish to be a warrior."

"Well Daisy, if that is indeed what you want," I nodded. "Then I suppose we will have the ceremony once all the patrols are back. Just remember this one thing Daisy," as he placed his muzzle on my head I flinched again, though I think he assumed from the touch rather than the name. "You will always have a place in Thunderclan." He backed off and I looked up.

"Thank you Firestar. There is one other thing though. I want a warrior name, but please, don't use 'daisy.' I need something new," I broke off, not sure how to put it without giving too much away. Daisy is the name of the old me. That wasn't me anymore.

"I understand. And please send Ferncloud to me." I bowed my head once more as I backed out of his den. I really do think he got it, there was so much understanding and compassion in his voice. At least Firestar was where he was suited best to help his clan. I bounded down the rocks, back into the nursery where I informed Ferncloud that Firestar wanted to speak with her. Poppyfrost looked up in alarm, but Ferncloud just analyzed me with her warm green eyes and blinked kindly at me. I think she knew exactly what was going on. She's very perceptive like that. As she left the nursery, I was aware of Poppyfrost's sill alarmed gaze aimed at the back of my head. I turned and assured her nothing was wrong, but she still glanced at me uneasily as she tucked her head back in with her kits.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather under High Ledge for a clan meeting!"

Ferncloud and I walked side by side, pelts barely brushing as we squeezed out of the nursery. Poppyfrost followed us to the entrance, where she stayed glancing back at the sleeping Molekit and Cherrykit. "Today we welcome a new warrior to our midst." It seemed every apprentice and mentor glanced around. "Sometimes it is the case that destinies change, and this is one of those times. Daisy please join me." Shocked look and murmurs followed me up to where Firestar was standing. "I, Firestar, leader of Thunderclan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon this queen. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Daisy, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do."

"Then by the powers of Starclan I give you your warrior name. Daisy, from this moment on, you shall be known as Creamcloud. Starclan honors your bravery and caring." He placed he muzzle to my head, and I respectfully licked his shoulder, hoping the small embrace would send all my thanks. I knew Firestar had picked the right name. I was no longer Daisy, I was Creamcloud.

**AN: So what do you think? I know Daisy isn't much of a fighter, but I think she would be the kind to do anything if she got desperate. Who knows, maybe this won't work for her either, but this is how I wanted to go. Creamcloud in my personal character, and always represents me in roleplays, but I have always pictured her looking like Daisy. Long, creamy fur. However, my Creamcloud is a deputy and fierce warrior as well as being a queen. Maybe some of that spirit is what I wanted Daisy to have. Hope you liked the story! Reviews pretty please? I will love you forever! *Puppy dog eyes* ~Alstar**


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